Life with the Pao Island Orcs

author: Wizard Hicham

It was given to me all manner of diplomatic missions in my service to our High Council of Wizards, but never one so unusual as my journey to the once decorated Archmage, the beautiful Zouleika of House Chimera.

After a perilous journey by sea, I reached the city of Hammer Fall where the once Archmage Zouleika, now turned Shaman, had agreed to meet me. She was even more beautiful than the stories told. Her savage dress and the exotic markings on her skin sent an excited shiver up my spine that I still cannot explain.

The next morning we were on an Orc ship, and our fates in the claws of the Dragons.

We landed on a large island. Zouleika introduced me to Sandor, a Human War Lord, leading a tribe of Orcs and Beastmen. He spoke well, obviously of Imperial education. I would later learn that he was the bastard son of a Duke of Griffin.

The next six weeks were one long banquet of meats and fruits served with their local deadwater drink. The feasts were interrupted by the occasional hunting trip or fishing expedition. By the end of it, I was no longer using pronouns. I learned that the Orcs are not linguistically impaired, but find using words such as he or she offensive to their gods, Mother Earth and Father Sky. They believe every creature was given a name for a reason. To say, "He is strong," rather than "Gortak is strong," offends both Gortak and their deities.

A typical evening discussion goes something like this.
"Sandor is still thirsty. Sandor must drink more deadwater. Gortak pass Sandor the skin."
"Gortak is still thirsty. If Sandor wants more deadwater, Sandor can piss in Sandor's bowl."
"Sandor is going to break Gortak's skull to see if Gortak has any brains."
"Sandor is dreaming with Sandor's ancestors if Sandor thinks Sandor can best Gortak, even if Gortak had two hands chopped off and teeth broken in fifteen places..."
"Ha Ha Ha Ha."
"Ha Ha Ha Ha."

here is one chance in three that the discussion would finish in a fistfight, but in the end, there always seemed to be enough deadwater for everyone to staunch wounds and heal broken pride.
I stayed with the Orcs for six weeks and they went by like six days.

There was something intriguing in Zouleika's parting smile, as if our encounter had gone better than expected. And I understood. The Orcs are not brainless brawling brutes eating Elves and Men for breakfast. They are what we might have become had we not sought the path of knowledge. I hope to visit them again.
Hicham is strong and ready, should the High Council so request.

Wizard Hicham, Ambassador of the Seven Cities.

Life with the Pao Island Orcs

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